April 2, 2026
Focusing on the Positive
We can positively influence the arc of our life, even if we can't control the outcome.
7 min read
I am an optimistic person, by nature. As a result, I try to curate my lifestyle to keep negativity out as much as possible. This is the main reason why I don’t have accounts on social media platforms. It’s well documented that social media platforms have leveraged behavioral scientists to exploit natural psychological triggers, feeding you inflammatory content to keep you engaged and therefore more profitable (see here, and here, and here). No redeeming quality outweighs the harm of these tactics. The companies are optimized for ad revenue, not your well-being. I can’t compete with that, so I stay away. I think we need to be purposeful in how we create and curate positive interactions in our lives.
Old school Internet…again
I’ve discovered a community, both online and at a local bookshop, recreating the original Internet’s spirit and the style of blogging from the days of MySpace and the original Tumblr. They encourage people to create their own web pages using basic methods to share whatever drives them.
Yes, it creates rabbit holes, but without algorithms or behavioral scientists manipulating you. The blog sites don’t have databases and are considered “static” in name and nature. You follow hyperlinks instead of feeds; like the old Wikipedia game where you’d open up the page for the ‘Titanic’ and click links to see how long it takes to open up a page about ‘Baseball’. You might be surprised to find how few degrees of separation exist in the Internet world, just like in the real world.
You create your own community of sites based on your interests and if you want to explore something you simply tap hyperlinks to take you to another site, article or story that interests you. By curating an online experience that is more positive, I believe I’ve created an environment where more positive outcomes can occur.
Visualization
When I played sports and when I sold for a living, visualization was a part of my practice and preparation. As I drove to basketball games I would imagine scenarios unfolding, how others and myself might move around the court, replaying the scene if something didn’t turn out as I wanted. I always ended with a positive outcome. He’s scores the game winner at the buzzer!
I would do the same for upcoming sales calls where I needed a specific next step to occur. I’d imagine the conversation with the client and possible responses or redirections I’d make based on the client’s actions. I’d always end with an agreement on moving onto the next step of the sales cycle or closing the sale, whatever was needed.
It intrigued me that periodically there’d be an experience where the exact scenario I imagined in my prep work unfolded during a game, or in the client meeting. Because I previously rehearsed this in my imagination, it felt like I knew what was going to happen. I had experience in this situation and I wasn’t anxious. I felt confident and in control.
Psychology Today states that research has shown that visualization can influence outcomes by helping individuals enhance focus, confidence, and decision-making due to their rehearsal of situations. Visualizing scenarios activates the same parts of the brain that we impact when we actually see things. It’s like we’re creating previous experiences, thereby lowering our anxiety and increasing our confidence when the time comes and we are actually immersed in the situation. We are doing what we can to positively influence how we behave in the world around us.
Multitudes
Along the same lines as rehearsing desired outcomes, it is important to remind ourselves of the simple pleasures of life. There is nothing wrong about reinforcing our self image and image of our world with positive thoughts. Bored on a recent Saturday evening, my wife and I picked the movie The Life of Chuck while scrolling through options on the TV. Based on a novella by Stephen King of the same name, the movie is both unsettling and uplifting at the same time. It is very thought provoking and created much conversation in our house. Spoiler Alert!!!
The movie’s main premise is that we follow the main character’s life in reverse order, from its end to his birth. We find out in the opening act, that Chuck’s life is connected to the the overall existence of the universe. As we go backwards in time in Chuck’s life, Chuck explores a line from the poem Song of Myself, by Walt Whitman, with his teacher. The teacher explains that the phrase “I am large and I contain multitudes” refers to all of the experiences from a person’s life which make up each of us and are contained within our minds. From that experience comes this quote from the movie:
The universe is large
It contains multitudes
It also contains me
And in this moment - I am wonderful
I have the right to be wonderful
I love the idea that a person’s right to be wonderful is derived simply by being a part of the universe. It doesn’t come from other human beings or their opinions. We don’t need any one else’s approval to be wonderful. Reciting this quote allows me to slow down, appreciate what is around me and within myself, recognize how complicated I and this universe are and to reinforce that I am full of wonder in my own right.
Make your soul grow
Kurt Vonnegut identified this wonderful nature within each of us when he wrote to a high school class back in 2006. Students were asked to write famous authors as part of a class assignment and invite those authors to the school to share any advice they might have. Vonnegut was the only one to respond to the class. His advice to the students was to ‘make their soul grow’ by practicing any art. Not for money or recognition, but simply to find what was inside of themselves. The letter is below:
November 5, 2006
Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:
I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.
What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.
Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.
Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?
Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash receptacles. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.
God bless you all!
Kurt Vonnegut
The universe is large. And it contains multitudes. It contains all types of different people who contain multitudes inside themselves. Express those multitudes in any manner or shape that you desire. Turn on your favorite music video and dance those moves! Write the letter, poem or first story that you feel you have inside you. And feel free to destroy it in the end if you don’t want others to witness it. Eat your potatoes that you made a face in! But do it.
Make your soul grow and to remind yourself that you are full of wonder and that you have a right to be wonderful. There is goodness in this life and it includes you.
And then remind yourself of this activity some time in the future.